Today I hit a wall...
I have NO idea what I want to do for a future career or even with my life right now!
I always come up with these ideas of things that I should do or could do. That's not bad right? Well I don't think it's necessarily a good thing when I wast time and money doing it correct?
I know this is what life is all about; experiencing new things and ideas and then finding where your "nook" is. It has been almost 3 years since I have been our of high school and unfortunately....
...I haven't found my "nook".
I am getting quite impatient.
I just want a plan, something, ANYTHING.
I'm lost.
I thought I knew what I wanted to do for a major while I was at BYU-Idaho. That didn't happen so I though I was suppose to pursue a career in cosmetology....turns out I know for a fact that I don't want to be doing this my entire life. I know I want to do something medical, but the list of jobs in that field is endless. So...what now?
My parents are sick and tired of me always changing my mind. They have been so patient with me and have given me so much throughout this time of my life. But 3 years is a long time to help me "get started".
I feel irresponsible.
I love my parents so much and am so grateful for them. But, I feel that I should be helping them now. I should be providing for myself (and don't get me wrong, I'm trying). I seem to always be falling short, or I'm always missing something.
What is missing?
I don't know, no one know except for Heavenly Father.
I know I'm being tested and this is to help me learn something. I thought I knew what, but now I'm not so sure. What is the point of doing what I'm doing right now if I'm not happy?
I thought I was happy...now I'm just stressed.
I guess I have some things to sort out don't I?
(Sorry for the pessimistic rant, ya'll are peaches to hear me out :)
On another note...This man is always a great pick me up
2 comments:
hannah, i felt this exact same way last year! i know how hard it is to not have a set plan for the future. it's frustrating and arduous and sometimes it feels like you're stuck in limbo and will never get out.
but i also know, and have learned, that it is well worth the journey to find your calling in life. i feel like i came full circle in my educational pursuits. i left high school wanting to study art history and work in a museum, but didn't think it was possible for me to achieve that. i went through three different programs before i rediscovered what i had originally wanted to do in life.
and even though it was so difficult and many tears were shed, i'm that much more grateful that i'm pursuing a field i really love. i definitely had moments where i felt exactly like you do right now. but just know that it's so so so worth it to find something that interests you! and don't feel like you're wasting money. the things you're learning right now in school are so useful for the future! you can be a stay-at-home mom and do prom updos and makeup for the laurels in your ward and still have an awesome career in the medical field that you love.
just be patient, keep working and praying hard, and you will find your calling in life. i know this is true because it took me four long years to find mine and i've never been happier!
YOU CAN DO IT!
ps: sorry that comment is a novel! i didn't mean for that to happen!
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